i don't know what it was...just a simple moment i had in the kitchen while i was washing dishes... my mom's in her room, probably asleep by now, i'm in the kitchen letting the water run while i soap...and for some reason, i took myself out of my surroundings and for the first time in a long time... i felt alone. my mom has shingles, and hasn't recovered from it yet completely, and is in pain constantly. she's completely out of meds now. and i wonder what she feels... i think she feels alone. i am alone. i always have, always will be. me and my inner dialogue (there was a 2 for one deal in 1982). my brother is in iraq. my dad is in our old house, my aunt and her family are in denver, the rest of my family are in pakistan. i'm in the middle of nowheresville, usa, surrounded by people. and yet still alone. and yet, not sad. i have a certain peace about this. i know God is here. and He's with my mom, and my brother, and my family here and abroad. God is with me. i just need to...remind myself of that...