Carisima actually gave this toast in front of her Speech class, which she then shared with us at lunch today. i made a mental note in my head that said: "you best blog this shit, ho." she told us that she took our advice on what she should do for her toast, and we all remember her saying half of what she said to the class, to us. but the icing on the cake is, she read it to her friend Cristina before she read it to the class, and that girl just laughed about it. yeah.

Can I have everyone's attention?
I would like to propose a toast to my friend Cristina.
I remember when we were little and took baths together, you would always stare at me and act so funny. Here at your Coming-Out-of-the-Closet Party, it all makes sense to me now.
All those times we used to hangout and check out guys, I never quite understood why you were never truly interested, and would comment on the girls instead.
I should have guessed you were a lesbian when you left your fiancee Daniel for your best friend Danielle, and when you changed your whole wardrobe to flannel.
To Cristina, may you have a fulfilling STD-free life!