hmm, this has been the worst day i've had in a long time...
and yet it's the best i've had at the same time.
work is really starting to stress me out. i usually pride in what i do - and i think i'm loved for what i do...
except everything's different now...
i have more work than i've ever had before. i'm expected to complete those projects faster than before. i was told to not be creative anymore. to make everything - formulaic.
let's just take "hum" out of "human" while we're at it. i don't feel like singing anyways.
*sighhhhhh. ah but it is life. always a fight. and my 23 years of wisdom has taught me - i fight myself more than anything in this world. my attitudes, my thoughts, my fears, my dreams, my nightmares...
i want to be in control - of a life i have no control over. ha. oh mindgames don't fail me now - i have bones to pick your teeth with. and there's a point i wanted to make... but eh. it's just nice to hear my keyboard and realize it's actually me typing. a sound i zone out too much - thoughts of my own being that i suppress and lose thinking space to.

on the other hand...
MY MOM GOT A JOB TODAY!!!! (note to self: email your brother about this). WOO HOOOO!!!! God i can't thank you enough for everything you provide. despite how screwed up we are - you still take care of us. ah yes, my Lord and Savior. i've been ignoring you lately. i think i'm coming to learn there's no balance between you and the world. i love the world. i'm supposed to love it. i'm supposed to love you more. i think my journey with you will be a bumpy one. but those are the most fun aren't they? who knows. i don't.
i don't know anything.

oh yeah, i saw a license plate on a sky blue Alero that made my day. it said, "SUP BRA".
hahahaha

i'm going to finish my hibiscus tea now.
and let my pondery thoughts wandery wander.
*mwah